As some of you may or may not know, I was asked by the janitor/gardener at one of my schools to join him at a nursery school to do some role playing. Those of you that know me, know that I enjoy a good role-playing game as much as the next, so how could I not join in this festivity? Pretending to be Santa Clause has never been one of my life-long goals but it would provide me with a story to tell, I told myself. Those people that know me are probably asking, "Why would you pretend to be Santa? You're the biggest Scrooge I know." And to you I respond with the sound of my tongue and lips vibrating faster than the speed of light to expel tiny saliva particles in your direction (a.k.a a raspberry). Refer to this video if you are still having difficulty understanding. For background information, my problem with Christmas in the US is that everyone walks around with holier-than-thou attitudes and pretends like Christmas is something spiritual and special, but when Black Friday and December 26th roll around people are stomping, trampling and squashing other humans just to get to the fresh, new deals. At least in Japan there is no illusion that this is a consumer holiday, it is purely a day to keep the economy going. *steps off of his soapbox*
That being said, I have no qualms about lying to Japanese children about the existence of two Santas, one portly Japanese Santa and one double-bearded, Godzilla-sized American Santa. I am sure that to the children the play which the nursery school teachers had put on seemed like illusion and devilry but there are very few shocking things more than seeing a large American man with beard trying to keep the fake, white Santa beard from being inhaled with every breath. Overall, the afternoon went well. The kids were shocked at first but were more intrigued as the present giving session came to a close. When we left the room, the teachers released the children like dogs of war. They pounded on the glass of the back room in a desperate attempt to catch a glimpse of the mysterious double bearded man as he escaped out the back window in a leather jacket and beanie.
New Year's in Tokyo
I rang in the New Year in Tokyo this year. It was an exciting weekend of drinking and walking around town aimlessly. Being that my college buddy, TJ, and his friend Liz had already been to Tokyo several times between them and I was terribly sick of sightseeing, we decided to see the city as a resident would see the city. TJ had a Chinese friend who lived in Tokyo and called him to come hang out with us on New Year's Eve. Kang (sp?) brought several of his friends along. We decided to wander around our hotel to look for a place to eat with 9 people, last minute. We eventually found a place at a Chinese restaurant called RakuRaku. Coincidentally, we were staying in the China town of Tokyo and there were about 5 RakuRaku restaurants located within earshot of the first restaurant, about 6 Family Mart convenient stores on every corner in this particular neighborhood and a Denny's which, despite the name, did not serve Denver Omelets, pancakes or Grand Slams.
I never thought it would happen to me, but we spent the first half of the New Year sitting around a huge round table eating delicious, yet questionable, Chinese food, drinking Chinese firewater, and talking (or listening) to Chinese people in Tokyo. It was quite surreal.After dinner, Kang and his friends went to Tokyo Tower and Liz went back to the hotel. This left TJ and I to replay so many college nights...playing games and drinking. We went to a darts bar and passed the New Year by making fun of each other's darts abilities and watching the Japanese version of the New York countdown at Tokyo Tower on tv. After that bar, we retired to another bar and began to consume, which would come to be known as my downfall, a liter of beer at 1:30am. There is a famous bar in Japan called The Hub which is famous for sleazy Japanese women, horny foreigners and liter beakers filled with swill called Japanese beer. According to TJ's demands we were eying the women in the bar. Next to us there were two girls who were getting hit on by foreigners and Japanese men
throughout the night. Finally there was a lull in the onslaught and I told TJ to switch seats with me when I went to the bathroom. When I returned from the bathroom, he had engaged the hotter of the two women in conversation and had pulled them over the table closer to us. As TJ worked his magic on the attractive one, he left me alone with the one that spoke ZERO English and looked like a Japanese female version of Moe Howard from the Three Stooges. This was fine. I wasn't remotely interested in her but it was the first time that I was TJ's grenade-jumper. As the beakers emptied and the bar crowd thinned, these girls were getting tired and began asking where we were staying. TJ and I eyed each other. This was all the conversation we needed. We told them nothing! It was quite the confidence boost for me, it was the first time I had a long conversation in Japanese with another human being. It just goes to show that liquid courage does wonders for interpersonal communication.空手の新年会(karate no shinnenkai)(Karate New Year Meeting)
There was nothing terribly special about the New Year as a foreigner in Japan. There are a few
questions you always receive: "What shrine did you visit on New Year's Day?" or "What will you do for New Year's now that you are so far away from your family?" So it is always a shocker when you tell them that (a) you didn't visit a shrine because praying to gods for successful love life is not your idea of "starting the New Year off right" and (2) New Year's Day is a time for recovering from New Year's Eve when you spent half of the night stumbling around town trying to remember what day it was. So I find the shinnenkai ritual to be a bit strange in Japan. Basically, people get together and tell each other to do well in the new year and to try their best to be successful. I don't mean to sound negative, but it seemed like a hilarious group therapy session with Stewart Smalley. The meeting went as such: 80 people (men, women, children) crammed together in the second floor practice dojo at the main headquarters for our karate school. There was just barely enough room to stand up straight, but then we all had to kneel on the hardwood floor. Soke-sensei (the founder's son) entered the room and gave a (thankfully) short speech about how we all need to do our best this year to overcome obstacles in our karate training and how having a focused mind, heart and spirit are essential to being successful. Then he left the room and left all of us in the room to organize how we were going to proceed with the rest of the ceremony. Everyone lined up according to rank and in groups of 5-8, they approached Soke-sensei, knelt and said thank you for teaching us and happy New Year. At this point, the other instructors poured cups of liquor for the adults in the group and they shared in a small toast. After the first few shots of sake, Soke looked a bit red. By the time the last students came through, Soke-sensei looked like the liquor had take a bit of a toll. There is nothing like starting the morning off with a dozen shots of gold-laced sake. At the end of the ceremony, Soke-sensei gave us all 500yen as お年玉(New Year Money) and we took a picture outside of the dojo.Overall, it was a fun and unique Winter vacation.
Gio
p.s. At the time of writing this, my office smelled of dried cat food.
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