The Japanese Gangster Pope

Before all of you religious fanatics get "all up in my digital grill," just continue reading on for a few lines and most all will be explained.

I spent my Sunday in a sweaty dogi and a too small white belt standing amongst a group of 40 or so Japanese Karate practitioners from about 10:30 a.m. until 6 p.m. I will say that it was one of the best days I have ever had. First, before I get down to the details I should set up the scene. The dojo was about the size of a large living room, about 50' x 25', with hardwood flooring and a small shrine in the front of the room. The shrine is adorned with a small sitting pillow, an arm resting stool and a pair of ornamental wooden swords. There is also a framed picture of the Japanese flag and another framed picture of the recently deceased head of the school(the Soke-Sensei). The school is now run by his son who, after an appropriate 1 year mourning period, legally changed his name to his father's name to take over the school. This is a rather common Japanese custom in terms of the arts and martial arts.

So now back to the action. All of the students and teachers, ranks ranging from 10kyu (lowest white belt) to 8 and 9 dan black belts, line up in this small dojo and await the arrival of the main man, the emperor's enchilada, the Soke to end all Sokes, the Japanese Gangster Pope. Yes, that last title is not only insulting to the Pope, but also the head of my Karate school. So, shh. Don't tell anyone. I call him the Japanese Gangster Pope for a couple of reasons. First, he is treated with such reverence and piety that upon his choreographed entrance into the dojo, after exiting his Mercedes, everyone drops to their knees and bows, putting their heads to the hardwood floor. Secondly, he is a gangster because the suit that he was wearing when he walked in the dojo was straight out of a 1990's "yakuza/Japanese gangster" movie. His navy blue and white pinstripe suit was only accentuated by his perfectly greased-back 1950's "Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli" hair. Lastly, he is Japanese so I think it is perfectly appropriate to call him the Japanese Gangster Pope, although not nearly reverent enough.

Throughout the whole day I kind of felt like an outsider looking in on a secret cult, not only because the entire thing was conducted in Japanese but because everyone seemed to know the rhythm and method of the seeming madness. The day started off just like all of my karate practices, warm ups followed by punching, kicking and blocking routines to ensure that they are being done properly. Upon my failure of one of these blocking techniques, the Head Honcho, Soke-Sensei, came over and brought the whole group of people to kneel around me while he showed me how poorly I was doing. It was slightly embarrassing but I felt a little honored to be directly instructed by the man himself.

The day continued for another 2 hours until lunch time. With hardly a word, tables, cups, tea, soup and "obento/box lunch" were brought out and set up in the dojo. For several long, agonizing minutes all of the students just floated around the room trying to decide where to sit and what would be appropriate. I asked one of my Japanese friends if this was normal behavior and his response was, "In Japan there are many implied rules about things like this...but we don't know what they are." So eventually one of the instructors noticed everyone's awkward behavior and told us to sit down where ever we liked. After lunch, my friend told me that my pants were quite yellow. Knowing that this would happen, I was not surprised at all. When one's clothing gets soaked from sweat and one sits on dirty hardwood floors, the color of the floor gets easily transferred to the white fabric of one's pants. It happens to me every practice so I am no longer surprised, but only after practice when I changed my clothes could I truly acknowledge the seriousness of the stain. Boy, was it hilarious looking.

The day went on for 6 more hours after lunch. The people who were testing for their next belt ranks took their tests and then we prepared for the practice "kumite/fighting". This was so much fun. I only had one match, and I lost 4 points to 0, but I had fun. I blocked one of my opponent's punches so hard that he nearly fell over and I got one punch to the chin and neck that didn't count because I didn't retract my fist fast enough.

At the end of the day, the Soke Sensei came up to me again and said in Japanese, "Thank you for coming today and for working so hard. Next time I have one of these seminars, you are welcome to attend." I was pretty honored and held my head a little higher. Although I didn't win my match or even do very well, I still had a good day but 9 hours of karate will make anyone tired.