This Week's News in 30 Seconds

Just some opinions, don't get your underwear in a twist.
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We found out that tanning beds cause cancer, divorce is harmful to your health, sugar in juice and sports drinks erodes your teeth, body building with steroids is harmful to your body, the swine flu is really bad if you're pregnant, Oprah.com continues to publish self-defeating sexist garble, and that every single person and their divorced grandmother has marriage advice.

My response to these news stories: DUH!

We also learned that blue food coloring in M&Ms can stave off paralysis in spinal injuries but its side effect is Smurfification. I am not even joking.

We also found out that intelligent black men can be arrested in Mass. for being home alone and that because the president is also a black man, his opinion must be heard on every situation of race relations in the USA.

My response to this story: Both the Mass. Police Department and Professor Gates, to redirect President Obama's quote, "acted stupidly" and the situation could have been handled without bringing the subject of race into the picture if both parties acted more humanely. Additionally, when did it become the president's responsibility to publicly render opinions on cases which do not pertain to him and then publicly act as mediator between two adult parties. Obama is not our daddy and he is not our hall monitor. Deal with your own issues because the President of the United States of America has bigger things to worry about right now.

Lastly, we learned that Michael Jackson might not have been as poor as we all thought and that his doctors may have given him dangerous amounts of drugs solely because he was famous and had money.

My response to this story: FREAKING GET OVER IT ALREADY. He is dead. He got himself killed by taking too many drugs. The only thing I find fascinating about this whole situation is that he overdosed on legal drugs, and thus he is being painted as a victim. Ask yourself this, if he overdosed on cocaine or heroine would you all be so forgiving? The double standard on drug use in the USA is ridiculous. Make it all legal and tax the crap out of it. We could do with a little natural selection to weed out those who are unable to make the decision to keep themselves alive.


So it has been a slow news week. My negativity started last weekend when I tried to go to see the Harry Potter movie but it was sold out all day. Since then my mood has soured and my days have grown longer. I need my HP fix.