An Existential Question or Ten

Does wearing that sweater make you want to play the trombone?
Is the trombone controlling the man's thoughts and forced him to purchase the sweater?
Do you get a free trombone when you buy the sweater?
Do you get a free trombone when you hug that lady?
Do you get a free sweater when you hug that lady, but only if playing a trombone?
Do you get a free lady when you wear that sweater while playing the trombone?
Isn't it difficult playing the trombone when you have some woman hanging all over you?
Isn't it difficult to hug that woman when you are holding a trombone?
How many different poses did they try before the marketing executive decided on this one?
How many different sweaters did they try before the marketing executive decided on this one?
How many different brass instruments did they try before the marketing executive decided on this one?
Is the reason that the trombone is in this picture to allude to some teenage sexual inuendo to make me believe that if I bought that sweater and that trombone I might get to "trombone" someone?

I don't know the answers to these questions. But, what I do know is that I really want to try that trombone on.