The Japanese and their Pickled Fruits

So, in the past 6 or so months there has only been one food that I truely detest. I loath it down to my deepest recesses and I have nothing but vile, over-flowing, indescribable hate for this one pickled fruit, plumb (aka Umeboshi). I dont know what it is about this one particular pickled invention, but the second the sour purple skin touches my tongue, my whole body convulses. Every time this stuff makes its way into my food, which it often does, i feel like turning to the side and emptying my stomache of everything i have ever eaten in my entire meager existance. That is the extent of my hate for this Japanese delectable.

My reason for telling you this today is to bring up one of the odd daily traditions that i established for myself over the past few months. Seeing as I am, by nature, a lazy individual, i very, very, very rarely make lunch for myself in the morning before work. It is just too troublesome and it has become a force of habit or a ritual, if you will, to buy two onigiri (triangular rice ball with some sort of meat or vegetable in the center, all wrapped in dried seaweed) at the local convenient store on my way to work. My reason for this is two-fold; first, I dont trust convenient store sandwiches after my last devistating battle with my bathroom at the hands of an egg salad sandwich; and secondly, onigiri are usually delicious and two of them are just the right size for a light lunch.

Okay, I lied. I seriously doubt that any of you care about what my usual feasting routine has become, but the real reason that i am writing this is to vent. I vent my frustration here because everyone and their mother's mother loves umeboshi except me. I vent because it stops me from renting a flame thrower and torching the onigiri factory and my local convenient store. I am frustrated because for the last several days I have unknowingly purchased onigiri filled to the brim with umeboshi, purple goo oozing out the sides. I dont know what it is about this particular item that everyone goes looney over, but IT DOES NOT NEED TO GO IN EVERY GOD DAMN LUNCH SNACK! No matter how hard i try to avoid this disgusting conglomeration of mushy, mashed purple fruit i cannot escape its hold. It tortures me. It follows me. It rears its ugly head in every flavor of onigiri i eat. It seems like i need to start making my lunch to avoid having to trash my lunch everyday.

Needless to say, I am a bit pissed today about this most recent example of ume infiltration.

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