1. Does your torso hurt...a lot? (If yes, skip to question 2. If no, stop taking this test because you're a girly-man/woman.)
2. Do you have bruises? (If yes, skip to question 3. If no, stop taking this test, nerd.)
3. Do your bruises have bruises yet? (If yes, skip to question 5. If no, go to the next question.)
4. Does doing any of the following activities hurt mentally or physically: breathing, walking, breathing, bending, turning, eating, breathing, coughing, reading, or breathing? (If yes, skip to question 1. If no, stop taking this test and get a clue.)
5. If while reading this stupid question map did you do any of the following activities: cough blood, pee blood, vomit bile, or die...then you might have had enough for today.
Well the point of this short question map is to illustrate my current condition. I began harnessing my inner Japanese warrior by taking karate lessons at a real dojo with a real master. How can you tell how real they are? Well if you look at the color of their belts you can guess that they are real. I prefer to judge the seriousness and legitimacy of a teacher by the amount of bodily disfigurements a man or woman has. This particular master is missing both front teeth, has a nasty scar down the side of his right eye ending near nose level, two mangled and arthritic hands made of stone, and the posture of a mountain. This man breaks my will with every stare. But so far, sensei seems to like me, which is a good thing because he could destroy my existence with a mere flick of an eyebrow (if he had them).
In my class, there are two ridiculously good pre-teens, both black belts, a friend of mine who is a brown belt, and my AET friend who has been studying martial arts for more than a decade, and of course, yours truly. Some times I feel like I am punching-by-numbers because I have never studied karate or anything other than wrestling. And though the body posture and the disciple are reminiscent of my old days on the mat in spandex, I still feel very Kramer-esque taking karate lessons with two children that could beat me to a pulp. The language barrier is difficult and I sometimes find myself punching high instead of to the middle but this is all very new to me. I am doing well for a total n00b and it feels good to sweat a few pounds, or should I say kilos.
Showing posts with label Shiga. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shiga. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Orientation and New Friends
As this entry is not likely to be as enthralling or death-defying as the previous account of my infamous trip on the train to Obaku, I intend to supplement my story with visual stimulants.
Our story begins on Wednesday, with my trip to the Rubino Hotel in Kyoto City for yet another orientation. The excitement I felt for my first "business trip" into Kyoto by myself was dulled by my anal retentive attention to detail and my obsessive compulsive fear of tardiness. Both relatively harmless traits in my personality when observed separately, but together...a perfect storm of neurotic behavior. Luckily enough, these are two traits that the Japanese value very highly. In fact, most Japanese people that I have met, make me look like a relatively sane person when it comes to details and timeliness. This orientation as been in the plans since i arrived in Kyoto. Everyday since i stepped off the train i have been reminded of this meeting. Luckily, this meeting was also highlighted on every to-do list and itinerary for me since the dawn of time. That is one of the many things I enjoy about Japan. Maybe it is just because I am the new foreigner, but everything is detailed for me on a list. Even though the list is in Japanese, I spend at least an hour everyday going over that list in translation.
Back to the business trip. As I am packing my things up in my office after an unusually hot and sweaty day, the office secretary comes shuffling into the room in her rubber slippers. I have met this woman several times and always greets me with a smile. Today she greets me with two envelops full of money, one for the hotel expenses and the other for travel and food. Seeing as my travel to Kyoto would cost me less than 300yen, the remaining 6800yen(about 70dollars) would be allocated to booze and karaoke. I knew that, you knew that, the whole office knew that. At this point it is nearly 2pm and I had to be at the hotel by 4pm. I am not too worried but i needed to stop for sustenance along the way. This was my first experience riding the subway by myself so i was already nervous, add that to the fact that i had to walk down to the subway station with my bag of clothes in business attire in the sweltering swamp that seems to be Kyoto in August. Needless to say, I was already drenched before i had to attempt to figure out the Japanese map printed for my by the school. When i arrived at my final station, after having to change subway lines and almost getting on the wrong train that would have taken me south of nowhere, i realized that i now had a 20 minute walk West into the setting sun. Had this been a cheesy western movie, I would have been slumped over the saddle riding defeated into the sunset. But it being reality, I walked into the McDonald's on the corner and ordered a teriyaki burger with fries and a coke. There is something horrifyingly comforting about McDonald's fries and a coke. It tastes of childhood and America, even if the burger accompanying the heavenly fried potatoes is on the strange side. All that being said, I eventually made it to the orientation in time for check-in and briefing. The briefing consisted of rereading the itinerary that i had already received six different times before...To myself I screamed, "Was this really necessary!"
The next day was entirely formal and boring. All of the prefectural JETs had to stand in order and gracefully introduce ourselves to the Board of Education head honchos in Japanese. It was not terribly difficult but all too formal for my taste. The only worthwhile event was the formal appointment ceremony. I was asked by the Board of Education to formally accept the position of Assistant English Teacher on behalf of all the JETs present. My job was to look pretty and bow to several different people in a particular order. Of course the presenter threw in a handshake which i was not prepared for but i was able to adapt and recover from the shock of a broken ceremonial moment. The rest of the orientation was an utter waste of time. I believe the main purpose was to get all of the JETs in the area together so they could meet, talk, and exchange information. These people are likely to be my local lifelines to sanity for the next year.
As a result, many of us went out for drinks and karaoke to get to know each other better. This was my first ever karaoke experience so i found it fitting that it was in Japan. It is hard to describe karaoke to someone who has never gone before. In the States, karaoke is usually in a huge room with a bunch of loud annoying drunk people all singing off-key to their favorite song. In Japan, karaoke is a more private matter. Usually the group rents a small room with all of the karaoke equipment and goes to town. But some places offer "nomihodai" or "all you can drink" for a set price and time frame. Needless to say, we chose the nomihodai option. It usually takes a few drinks to get everyone singing but we had a fun group and started the night off good with some spicegirls, journey, metalica, eagles. But the night came to a screeching halt when we discovered that Rick Astley was available for our sign-along pleasure. If you do not remember Rick Astley I suggest you type his name into Youtube right now and reacquaint yourself with his melodious genius. refer to this video for immediate entertainment. This is two short video clips that i recorded on this fateful night.
Needless to say, It was a fun trip, regardless of the nonsensical and repetitive orientation.
On Friday, many new and old JETs from the Kyoto area got together to see the fireworks display over Lake Biwako. The fireworks commemorate the beginning of Obon week, I believe. Obon is the week where one's ancestors come back from the spirit world and haunt/wander the earth because their relatives have not provided them with the necessities for the afterworld this year. It is the week when most Japanese people visit and clean the graves of their ancestors and usually leave some food for their hungry ghosts. The week is concluded by the Daimonji bonfire festival where 5 different mountains around Kyoto are illuminated by huge bonfires in the shape of Japanese kanji letters. This festival is very famous and symbolizes the end of Obon and helps guide the wandering ancestors home to the spirit world. The fireworks at Lake Biwako were magnificent. Though they started very slowly, the show was over an hour long and filled with oooh's and ahhhh's. Here is a short video i compiled of the good parts of the show.
Overall, I had a very fun week. I have all next week off for Obon so i will be exploring Kyoto city and taking pictures. Sorry for the long read again, but i do not have much to do in my apartment at night so i tend to ramble.
~Gio
Our story begins on Wednesday, with my trip to the Rubino Hotel in Kyoto City for yet another orientation. The excitement I felt for my first "business trip" into Kyoto by myself was dulled by my anal retentive attention to detail and my obsessive compulsive fear of tardiness. Both relatively harmless traits in my personality when observed separately, but together...a perfect storm of neurotic behavior. Luckily enough, these are two traits that the Japanese value very highly. In fact, most Japanese people that I have met, make me look like a relatively sane person when it comes to details and timeliness. This orientation as been in the plans since i arrived in Kyoto. Everyday since i stepped off the train i have been reminded of this meeting. Luckily, this meeting was also highlighted on every to-do list and itinerary for me since the dawn of time. That is one of the many things I enjoy about Japan. Maybe it is just because I am the new foreigner, but everything is detailed for me on a list. Even though the list is in Japanese, I spend at least an hour everyday going over that list in translation.
Back to the business trip. As I am packing my things up in my office after an unusually hot and sweaty day, the office secretary comes shuffling into the room in her rubber slippers. I have met this woman several times and always greets me with a smile. Today she greets me with two envelops full of money, one for the hotel expenses and the other for travel and food. Seeing as my travel to Kyoto would cost me less than 300yen, the remaining 6800yen(about 70dollars) would be allocated to booze and karaoke. I knew that, you knew that, the whole office knew that. At this point it is nearly 2pm and I had to be at the hotel by 4pm. I am not too worried but i needed to stop for sustenance along the way. This was my first experience riding the subway by myself so i was already nervous, add that to the fact that i had to walk down to the subway station with my bag of clothes in business attire in the sweltering swamp that seems to be Kyoto in August. Needless to say, I was already drenched before i had to attempt to figure out the Japanese map printed for my by the school. When i arrived at my final station, after having to change subway lines and almost getting on the wrong train that would have taken me south of nowhere, i realized that i now had a 20 minute walk West into the setting sun. Had this been a cheesy western movie, I would have been slumped over the saddle riding defeated into the sunset. But it being reality, I walked into the McDonald's on the corner and ordered a teriyaki burger with fries and a coke. There is something horrifyingly comforting about McDonald's fries and a coke. It tastes of childhood and America, even if the burger accompanying the heavenly fried potatoes is on the strange side. All that being said, I eventually made it to the orientation in time for check-in and briefing. The briefing consisted of rereading the itinerary that i had already received six different times before...To myself I screamed, "Was this really necessary!"
The next day was entirely formal and boring. All of the prefectural JETs had to stand in order and gracefully introduce ourselves to the Board of Education head honchos in Japanese. It was not terribly difficult but all too formal for my taste. The only worthwhile event was the formal appointment ceremony. I was asked by the Board of Education to formally accept the position of Assistant English Teacher on behalf of all the JETs present. My job was to look pretty and bow to several different people in a particular order. Of course the presenter threw in a handshake which i was not prepared for but i was able to adapt and recover from the shock of a broken ceremonial moment. The rest of the orientation was an utter waste of time. I believe the main purpose was to get all of the JETs in the area together so they could meet, talk, and exchange information. These people are likely to be my local lifelines to sanity for the next year.
As a result, many of us went out for drinks and karaoke to get to know each other better. This was my first ever karaoke experience so i found it fitting that it was in Japan. It is hard to describe karaoke to someone who has never gone before. In the States, karaoke is usually in a huge room with a bunch of loud annoying drunk people all singing off-key to their favorite song. In Japan, karaoke is a more private matter. Usually the group rents a small room with all of the karaoke equipment and goes to town. But some places offer "nomihodai" or "all you can drink" for a set price and time frame. Needless to say, we chose the nomihodai option. It usually takes a few drinks to get everyone singing but we had a fun group and started the night off good with some spicegirls, journey, metalica, eagles. But the night came to a screeching halt when we discovered that Rick Astley was available for our sign-along pleasure. If you do not remember Rick Astley I suggest you type his name into Youtube right now and reacquaint yourself with his melodious genius. refer to this video for immediate entertainment. This is two short video clips that i recorded on this fateful night.
Needless to say, It was a fun trip, regardless of the nonsensical and repetitive orientation.
On Friday, many new and old JETs from the Kyoto area got together to see the fireworks display over Lake Biwako. The fireworks commemorate the beginning of Obon week, I believe. Obon is the week where one's ancestors come back from the spirit world and haunt/wander the earth because their relatives have not provided them with the necessities for the afterworld this year. It is the week when most Japanese people visit and clean the graves of their ancestors and usually leave some food for their hungry ghosts. The week is concluded by the Daimonji bonfire festival where 5 different mountains around Kyoto are illuminated by huge bonfires in the shape of Japanese kanji letters. This festival is very famous and symbolizes the end of Obon and helps guide the wandering ancestors home to the spirit world. The fireworks at Lake Biwako were magnificent. Though they started very slowly, the show was over an hour long and filled with oooh's and ahhhh's. Here is a short video i compiled of the good parts of the show.
Overall, I had a very fun week. I have all next week off for Obon so i will be exploring Kyoto city and taking pictures. Sorry for the long read again, but i do not have much to do in my apartment at night so i tend to ramble.
~Gio
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