Wow, I Feel Old

There is nothing more difficult to come to terms with than the realization that you are getting older. Before you all cry, bitch and moan, "What do you mean you feel old? You're only 22, you bakayaro." Please hear me out. I came to realization over Winter break that I was not getting any younger, but it really hit me this weekend.

While at a "Happy New Year (let's have an excuse to drink massive amounts of alcohol and eat food all day) Party" this weekend, I faced my own aging demographic. A large majority of my friends in Japan are in the late 20's and early 30's, and as such they have a tendency to be tied down in some way or another. Several of them are married or in serious long term relationships, and even a few of them have little children. Now generally I do not have a problem with kids; sometimes I even enjoy the little rapscallions. But, my philosophy over the past few years is, "as long as I can set the little poop factory down and walk away at the end of the day, I am fine." I even relish and take pleasure in feeding the maniacs sugar and candy and getting them all riled up so that the parents have an even bigger handful after we go our separate ways. Usually that is when I laugh maniacally and rub my hands together in a contemplative evil-genius way.

It is a unique experience going to a party and expecting drunken debauchery and finding children instead. Even though watching a toddler attempting to walk is almost as fun as watching a drunk grown adult wobble to the refrigerator for another round. Of course the emotional response is a bit different, while watching the children one cannot help but make the "awe-cute" face (believe me, the face and the sounds are the same in this country only exaggerated by the sheer overwhelming cuteness factor of Japanese children) as opposed to the "haha, you're an idiot" chuckle one makes while watching a drunk adult. Luckily for me, I was able to experience both of these emotions in one long afternoon.

While partying with toddlers is not my ideal drinking situation, it certainly makes for an eventful evening. There was tons of food including onigiri, sushi, chili, chips and dip, fried chicken, pastries, and cake; there was also a lot of beer, wine, umeshu, sake, and liquor. The nerds, like myself, broke out the magic cards and talked about Dungeons and Dragons and a variety of other nerdy topics. The married folk talked with the other married folk. The girls chit-chatted about common non-sensible things like babies and memories (psh, who needs those things). The kids made a disaster of the food left on the table, cried, napped and cried and ate more food. There were video games and board games, talking and cooking, drinking and drinking. Overall, a good evening.

It was not until the end of the evening when my friend's wife and my other friend's girlfriend came up to me to test my Japanese. Like all woman, they talk too fast and in a frequency inaudible to most male brains. Eventually, I was able to understand them and found out that they were asking me about my dating life here in Japan. Of course my sex life is my damn business and I was a bit put-off by the intrusions, but I have known these two for a while so I tried explaining the problems I have encountered in my recent past in Japan. Their solution, to all of my problems in Japan(which are few and far between) was to get a Japanese girlfriend. So I agreed naturally, but I continued with the train of thought and explained the difficulties with their oversimplified plan for my life. The problem being that my Japanese skills are lacking, and that combined with my over active laziness drive and my self-consciousness, led me to a vicious circle. In order for my Japanese to get better I need a Japanese girlfriend, and in order to get a Japanese girlfriend I need to have better Japanese or get off my ass and study harder. Both courses conflict directly with my self-preservation drive and my laziness drive. The conclusion (in the eyes of these two friends): I ain't gettin' any younger.